2012 is my YEAR!

I'm back.  And I hope that 2012 will be my year.  I'm going to do everything in power to ensure that I achieve my goals.  I'm also going to bring awareness to a medical condition I have that really hinders my weight loss.  Recently, my beautiful friend and photographer - Amanda Reed - did a series of videos to bring awareness to how words really hurt us.  I participated in the videos as someone who has body image issues, and how I know the population perceives a bigger woman like myself.  I see you judging me when I sit down beside you, enter a restaurant, shop at the grocery store...I always see you.  I hear the whispers, snide comments, hurtful things you say to others around you, and it kills me to hear you say things directly to my face...I always hear you.  "Oh you have such a cute face." AWESOME - that means the rest of me isn't that cute.  That is exactly what a bigger girl does not want to hear.

Here's the thing - I know I eat the wrong things and I don't exercise enough.  You don't have to call that to my attention.  I know exactly what I need to do.  I just have to find the will to want to do it.  See sometimes I just don't feel like functioning or even getting out of bed, but I do it.  So if it takes everything in me to just function for the day, you can bet your sweet ass that the gym is not on the agenda.  I know, I know - I need to make the time.  And that is exactly why this attempt is different.  My body and mind have suffered long enough.  Yes, I'm tired of your stares and your whispers but more importantly of holding myself back.  I have these long-term goals that are probably really stupid for other people.  You know like: ride a rollercoaster, sit comfortably on a plane and not use a seatbelt extender, not be afraid of restaurants with booths or chairs with arms, go shopping with my friends and shop at the same store, maybe start a family in the future, and see that family grow up and achieve their goals.  Some of the goals that people may not think twice about, but to me these are lofty goals to hopefully be achieved in 2012.

Shortly before I got married, I started to gain weight in my stomach area at a rapid pace.  I actually thought I was pregnant, and was really scared and totally unprepared for such a thing.  Well, I wasn't pregnant and almost 10 years later still not pregnant.  I actually suffer from infertility due to a condition called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Not only does it come with this awesome infertility side effect, but also several others including increased weight gain especially in the stomach area, acne, and excessive hair growth.  In addition to all these great aspects of PCOS, I also suffer from depression that makes it unbearably hard to even drag my self out of bed.  When I was diagnosed shortly before my wedding, I thought "Damn, what kind of woman I am that I can't give my future husband a child?" My doctor actually said that if I started earlier in life that I would have had more success.  Ok, so at 20 years old my fertility was basically gone.  And that's exactly how I feel some days - like a huge failure and less of a woman.  Yes, my biological clock is tick-tick-ticking away, but yet we've never been able to fulfill that need.  I start a diet and then I don't see much success on the scale, and I think what's the use?  My body starts to crave chocolate and I give in - and give in, and give in again.  Yes, I have tried this before but this time I really have the want to achieve my goals.  Maybe our upcoming trip to Aruba has something to do with this new found motivation - ok, it's a huge part of why.  I HAVE TO DO IT!  It's not a want, it's a need - it's necessary to be able to live my life.

Those long-term goals listed above aren't going away, and I just keep adding to my list everyday.  I'm just going to take it day by day while eating my salads and walking briskly on the treadmill and hope to make a dent in the amount of weight I need to lose before this year is up.  I don't know how often I will post, but I remember how blogging helped me the last time.  Hopefully, you can help me along in my journey so I can stay on track.

I'm ready to ring in 2012 with a new outlook on my health!

Portfolios, Photographs, and Pant Sizes - OH MY!

After my second weigh in with DPT, I'm happy to report that I'm down a total of 15 pounds and several inches off of my waist!  I haven't seen much change in myself, but I can tell when I put on my clothes.  I was holding up my pants with a safety pin, and I knew that had to change when I was folding over more than the safety pin could hold!  Even my work out clothes were too big.  When DPT tells you that you look like Santa Claus by tucking in your shirt (so your pants won't fall off), then you know it's time to upgrade the wardrobe.  As of my most recent shopping trip, I've gone from a size 28 women's plus size clothing to a size 22 women's plus size clothing!  I <3 RESULTS!

So, one of my earlier excuses was that school work was kicking my tail.  Well, um it really is!  This is, hopefully, my final semester at WVU for my RBA degree with an emphasis in Communication Studies.  In the final weeks of September, I diligently worked on my portfolio to qualify for graduation.  My portfolio consisted of a narrative detailing my skills and information regarding my work experience in relationship to college courses, samples of my work, and letters of recommendation from past and present supervisors.  I was super nervous after submitting it, and I am waiting on pins and needles until I get confirmation about graduation.  I actually got a fabulous email from the RBA Academic advisor regarding the organization of my portfolio yesterday.  She stated that it was the "best one so far" and "that they would like to use my work for reference for future students" and "that I should have nothing to worry about" (in regards to credits for graduation)!  More updates on graduation will come as I know them! :)

Graduation is 10 years in the making for me!  I started my journey at WVU in 1999, directly after high school, and life events got in the way of finishing my degree sooner.  This journey has made me stronger, because I know that it really takes hard work and determination to reach your goals.  Being an independent student is a blessing and a curse in itself - a blessing because it allows me the freedom to complete my work on my schedule, and a curse because it allows me to put other things before school work and procrastinate to get certain items done.  I'm really going to value this degree when I get it and I can't wait to start the next journey in to graduate school.

I wanted to celebrate this milestone in my life with some new pictures.  I haven't had professional pictures taken since our wedding over 8 years ago, and pictures by myself since my senior year in high school.  I've been following (read: stalking) a local photographer, Amanda Reed Photography, and I just had to have her take some fantastic pictures for me.  And she did not disappoint!  I had an idea in mind for the perfect picture to fit my personality, and she completely delivered my vision.

I hand-made the tutu, and the colors are like cotton candy.  I wanted the picture to be fun, flirty, carefree, and innocent, and she captured that image straight from my thoughts.  We may have ruined a pair of white leggings in the process, but it's all for a good shot!  I had the best time shooting with her.  It didn't feel staged or posed.  It felt like an old friend was talking with me, and I felt more comfortable than I ever thought I could taking photographs.  In addition to the tutu pictures, she took pictures of the hubs and I sporting our WVU gear and another single of me showcasing my best feature - my eyes!  My parents thought these were the best pictures of me EVER.  Amanda really knows how to pull out the natural beauty of her subject and the environment around them.  I can't wait to see the rest of the photographs, and I know who my go-to photographer will be from now on!

Until next time, I leave you with a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson: "Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not."  Until recently, I didn't carry my beautiful with me.  I didn't see that in myself.  But now I know that beauty is not only on the outside, but on the inside as well.  I know my inside beauty shines out, and I'm finding my outer beauty on this lifestyle journey.  We are all beautiful and unique, and this is what makes us special!

When the eatin' is good...

On with the traveling...

Just last weekend, the hubs and I took a trip to the Triangle area in North Carolina.  You may ask - Why?  For one, there is some great shopping in that area.  Secondly, I grew up there for much of my younger childhood years.  And third, the hubs wanted to hit all the eateries on the Man vs. Food Triangle challenge.  But this is a diet blog, you say.  Oh yes, I know - but the eatin' was so good!

We stayed at the Aloft hotel in Chapel Hill.  Aloft is the new, hip version of the W hotels made popular by Starwood Properties.  

The hotel is very hip and trendy, and feels like it caters to the younger crowd.  When we booked, we were put on a waiting list for a King Room - and lo and behold we DID NOT get it.  So, two queens it is...

The beds were not as comfy as the Mardi Gras Resort, but I did get a restful nights sleep.  We relaxed in the salt water pool, and it seemed we were the only ones who took advantage of it during our stay.  That clamshell in the corner is so comfortable!  I could have taken a very nice afternoon nap there.  I need to research where to purchase one of these for my back yard.

On to the food...

So we went to Time-Out Restaurant in Chapel Hill for the famous square biscuits.  Let's just say they did not disappoint!  The chicken was also pretty fabulous as well.  After a morning full of shopping and walking, we decided to hit The Roast Grill for the famous hot dogs.  If you go here, you better know exactly what you want.  It's standing bar room only and your options are limited.  You can get your dog burned to the degree you like, and I actually heard a man say "Get it as burnt as you can get it!"  Your only options for toppings are: mustard, chili, onions, and slaw.  That's it!  But they are very tasty, and the chili has a little kick to it.  We didn't do Adam justice and compete in the hot dog challenge.  But I honestly don't think I could have eaten more than the 1 hot dog I consumed anyway!  

After an afternoon full of shopping, eyebrow threading, and more walking, we decided to hit The Pit for the famous BBQ.  If you like NC style BBQ (that's the vinegar style), then you MUST go here.  Best food of our entire trip - from the meats to the sides to the sangria.  Service was fabulous, and there is even complimentary valet since parking is so sparse in that area.

Needless to say that our sessions with DPT were killer after these trips, but they were nice and relaxing while we were there.  More info on DPT on the next blog...

Mardi Gras, Football, and Laryngitis...

Ok, so I’ve been a total blog slacker lately, but it’s not like I don’t have a ton of excuses why.  I could say that I was sick, or that we’ve traveled a lot, or that schoolwork is really intense this semester, but none of those excuses are good enough.  I just haven’t made time for my blog or myself much lately.  So, this may be a long-winded blog (or blogs), but at least I’m updating.

Since my last blog, we have traveled to our first WVU game of the season.  In case you didn’t know, in this family we bleed gold and blue.  We traveled to Huntington, WV to see the Mountaineers take on the Thundering Herd, and I have to say that the last m8 minutes of the game were great!  (The other minutes – not so much!)  Here is a picture of me supporting the ‘Eers!

The best part of the trip was the little mini vacation we had at the new Mardi Gras Resort and Casino in Cross Lanes.  The hotel is pretty fabulous, and we got a really great rate for the football game.  The bed was like a cloud and you just melted in to it.  It was so hard to get up in the morning, so we just lounged all day.  The room was large and had some great amenities.

The lobby is pristine, beautiful, and full of bright colors.  This hotel is completely brand new, so it still had the new, clean smell associated with it.  OH, AND IT’S COMPLETELY NON-SMOKING – EVEN THE CASINO.  In case you can’t tell, I LOVE this aspect of the property.  There was a salt-water pool and hot tub, and the padded loungers were great to relax the day away.

I’m gonna let you know that I am no good at the gambling.  In fact, my allotted $5 gambling money went faster than I could read this blog.  And I even played penny slots!  I’m horrible with those things, but it was a fun experience.

During our stay, I will say that we fell off of the diet and exercise bandwagon.  We ate very unhealthy, and I definitely could tell a huge difference in the way I felt.   I felt very lazy and lethargic, and I could feel how heavy the food was.  Although it was extremely tasty, I couldn’t eat any more than half of any meal we consumed.  I know that my body was adjusting to the new diet and exercise plan, and this trip set us back on our progress.

Until next time, I leave you with a quote from David Viscott: “You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.”

Another week DOWN...

So, I wanted to start this post off with a picture showing some progress.  Those of you that are my FaceBook friends will have already seen this picture, but I'm too happy not to share it on my blog.  This past Friday was "Show Your Colors Day" to show support for your favorite football team.  So I donned my favorite WVU shirt and comfy denim capris to show my love for my team.  When I put on my capris, I noticed that they weren't as snug as they used to be - actually they weren't snug at all.  I was so excited that I woke my hubby up on his day off just to show him!  Here is how big these capris actually were (sorry for the crappy mirror pic):

Oh yes, I was so very excited.  So the next day, I decide to try a pair of capris that hadn't fit in over TWO YEARS!  And they fit perfectly fine, even with a little wiggle room.  (Sorry, no pictures of these pants)  So I knew I might be trying my luck, but yesterday I decided to try on a pair of capris that I bought a couple of years ago.  This was a pair of capris that I purchased with the attitude of "I'll be able to wear these next summer", but next summer never came.  I knew that they weren't going to fit - they hadn't fit since I purchased them, and I knew that it would be another summer before I could really get in to them.  BUT OH NO, I proved myself wrong.  They fit perfectly fine - not tight, not loose - just right!  These pants were TWO SIZES SMALLER than I normally wear.  I'm getting closer to the non-plus size clothing selections by the day!  Although, I know it will take a while before I actually reach that goal.

Last night, I decided that I was going to measure my waist and compare it to my Transform Your Body Challenge waist measurement.  So I gather up my tape measure and wrap it around.  WAIT, what is that?!?  A three inch deficit in just one week?!?  I just couldn't believe this, so I ask for expert advice - a consult with the hubby.  YES, it's confirmed - 3 inches LOST!  Oh what a small victory so far!

Exciting, I know!  So now I'm going to share two recipes that I created out of one meat purchase.  We are meat-a-vores, so this recipe uses beef.  However, you could recreate the same recipe with chicken or pork.

I started out by making a pot roast in the crock pot.  I cut off all the outside fat pieces and seasoned it up using Salt-Free Mrs. Dash, fresh minced garlic, and fresh cracked black pepper.  I cut up onions, celery, and carrots to place below and on the sides of the roast.  I sprinkled the vegetables with fresh minced garlic and fresh cracked black pepper.  I added half a cup of water to the bottom just to ensure moistness of the meat.  The pot roast will cook low and slow for 10 hours - with a check halfway through.  At the halfway point, the roast had created a lot of juices around the meat and veggies.  I cut up 2 red potatoes and placed it around the meat.  The potatoes will soak up some of those juices, so add a half/whole cup of water to ensure the meal stays moist for the remainder of the cooking process.  I think I should have taken a picture of the hubby's plate, since he eats the veggies from the roast.  At the end of the cooking process, this is what my plate looked like:

So, the old me would have had that plate loaded up.  But the new me knows about portion control, and I was actually quite full after this meal.  So there was some pot roast leftover, so I saved it for a tasty leftover recipe - Beef enchiladas!  Basically this meal contains several leftover ingredients.

In a pan, I added some olive oil to start sauteeing black beans and leftover brown rice.  I chopped up the leftover pot roast and added it to the bean and rice mixture.  Once the contents were warmed through, I added 1 packed of reduced sodium taco seasoning and the recommended water.  One the seasoning and water were cooked in to the mixture, I took it off the heat to cool down.  (This was a meal I prepped before we went to the gym, and heated up once we got home).  So the meat mixture looks like this:

So after the meat mixture cools, I spoon it in to whole wheat tortilla shells.  I made 6 beef enchiladas, because we are usually very hungry after a workout - but I knew we would have leftovers for lunch the next day.  There was enough of the meat mixture left for probably 2 or 3 more enchiladas, so you could always save the leftovers for another quick lunch.  So this is what the meal looked like before I put it in the fridge - fully prepped!  (The enchiladas with toothpicks have some leftover onions - from the roast - for the hubby)

Once we returned from the gym, starved as always, I put the sauce and cheese on top of the enchiladas and put them in the oven - 400 degrees for 20 minutes just to heat through.  Just enough time to shower and prepare for bed!  So this is the finished product:

This meal was very filling - one enchilada is a very satisfying serving.  I couldn't eat any more after that.  The leftovers were great for lunch the next day too!

Until next time, I leave you with a quote from an unknown author: "If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution."  Man, I wish I would have found this years ago!  It really gives you a new take on the term "comfort food".

The CHALLENGE begins...

So on Friday, DPT decides we should weigh in since it's almost the end of the month.  Well on top of my previously recorded 6 lb. loss, I've also lost 2 lb. more!  I've lost 8 lbs. in 3 weeks, so I'm pretty excited about that.  My goal is to lose between 8-10 lbs. per month, and I know I'm shooting for the higher end of expected weight loss per week but it helps keep me motivated.

After this great weight loss, DPT rewards me with a round of HURRICANE.  And no, it's not the refreshingly tasty drink that I had on vacation this summer.  It's 30 minutes of intense circuit training that hurts like the dickens!  I wonder if I can return his gift for something better, like say a manicure at the spa?!?


After a weekend full of tempting snacks and treats, including texas sheet cake, brownies, soda, chips, and frosted cake bites, the hubby and I started the "Transform Your Body Challenge" today at a local gym.  We had starting weights, BMI, and measurements taken along with the horrid "before picture".  I'm pretty sure that we are the biggest participants in this challenge, so that could either help or hurt us in the long run.  After watching many seasons of The Biggest Loser, you can see that bigger people will lose weight at a faster rate.  However, you can really can't tell a difference in their size until later on into their weight loss journey.  So, we'll see how everything works out after 90 days.

Today, of course, was ZUMBA day!  One hour prior to Zumba, I completed 30 minutes of cardio on the treadmill and 30 minutes of circuit training with the machines, kettle-bells, and medicine balls.  After working up a good sweat, it was time to shake everything my momma gave me (PLUS MORE!) and burn some more calories!  I'm pretty sure that the inventor of Zumba must really enjoy torturing people, because the arm workout absolutely kills me every time!  But 60 minutes of aerobic dance class is very enjoyable and keeps me moving the entire time.

While the hubby and I were waiting to weigh in for the "Transform Your Body Challenge", we watched a workout called Gladiator Training.  Ok, let me just honestly admit right now that I was completely scared by this workout.  I was thinking "I can't do that!", "Oh there is no way my body can do that!", "What the hell is that?" and I was psyching myself out the entire time.  It is a workout that pushes you and uses your entire body - and wow, it really works you out.  I joined in for the 3rd (and last) set of exercises, and I felt myself wanting to cuss, grunt, and scream a few times.  I am still scared of the work out, but I would join in again!

Tally that up readers - that's 30 minutes cardio + 30 minutes of circuit training + 60 minutes of Zumba + 1/3 of Gladiator training = Alot of calories burned plus a very tired ME!

Until next time, I leave you with a quote from Thomas A. Edison: "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."

Zumba is FANTASTIC...

...Cravings, on the other hand, suck BAD!  Especially pizza cravings...

Today was, of course, Zumba day!  I was so excited to go!  I'm finally getting the hang of most of the routines, and the instructors are so motivating.  They have so much energy - I wish I had that much energy!  I haven't seen my stomach/ab area in years, but I can so feel the pain in that area clearly.  Maybe one day I'll be able to see that area again, but that is a long time coming.  I feel like Zumba works everything from the hair on my head to my tiny, little pinky toe.  I'm always a sweaty, gross mess at the end, which means I was working hard for that 60 minutes.  I would do Zumba 5 days a week, if I could.  I may need to look in to buying the videos for at-home use.

Again, cravings suck!  I've been wanting pizza...and breadsticks...and wings, but I would just settle for pizza.  So I get the bright idea to make healthy, whole wheat pizza with low-fat toppings.  Let's just say that this food experiment needs a lot of tweaking for the next time, but I'll take you on my dinner journey last night.

First, you start with the dough.  We bought pre-packaged pizza dough mix from our local grocery store.  It was called Bob's Red Mill Gluten Free Whole Grain pizza dough, and it even came with the yeast packet.  So this dough didn't form like your usual pizza dough, and this is what it looked like after rising:

So, we figured this was enough dough to make two small pizzas since the hubs and I do NOT like the same pizza toppings.  The dough was very, very sticky and also very hard to form into a pizza shape.  The hubs eventually gave up and had a square blob of pizza dough.  I, on the other hand, at least tried to shape mine like a pizza.  We had a healthy range of toppings including: Homemade Sauce, Fat Free Mozzarella Cheese (which I'll elaborate on and do not recommend), Canadian bacon, fresh mushrooms, minced garlic, and banana peppers.

To make the sauce, use: 1 large can of crushed tomatoes, 1 small can of tomato paste, half of a large onion-minced, 4 garlic cloves-minced, 1 or 2 tbsp of Italian Seasoning Mix (or basil, oregano, parsley), salt and pepper to taste. 

I usually make a big double batch of this sauce, and store the extras in the freezer.  I also sautee the onions and the garlic together prior to adding in the sauce for more flavor.  If you feel it needs more seasoning, add an extra dash or two - it all depends on how you like your sauce to taste.  Remember:  You can always add more if it needs it, but you can't take away if you add too much!

After forming the pizza and putting on my toppings (excluding banana peppers), I was ready for the oven.  Notice the weird pizza shape - it was the best I could do!

After 15 minutes of baking at 450 degrees, the top of the pizza was nowhere near being done.  So under the broiler it went.  I like to see the cheese bubble and brown, because I like really melty cheese on my pizza.  After the final few minutes on broil, this is what the finished product looked like:

So, as I was getting ready to dig in, I notice that the cheese has formed some type of helmet over the pizza.  Fat Free Mozzarella Cheese must have a really high melting point, because this cheese was not melty at all.  It was, however, hard and crusty layered over the pizza goodness below.  The crust has a different texture than normal pizza.  It's more dense and not as light and fluffy, and it takes a few more chews to break it down.  I will make this pizza again, but only with regular mozzarella cheese.  I may also try adding a sprinkle or two of all purpose flour, and see if that helps cut the sticky-ness of the whole grain dough.  I may also try some whole wheat pizza crust recipes I've found online.  That's what recipe experimentation is about, right?!?

I will say that this meal DID NOT satisfy my pizza craving.  It took a lot of will power to keep on track last night, but I DID IT!  One successful recipe attempt this week, and one not so successful - I'm sure there will be many more in the future.

Until next time, I leave you with a quote from Winston Churchill:  "Never, never, never, never give up."